Today I met up with a good friend of mine for coffee. We hadn't gotten together for a while so it was a much needed update session between the both of us. We caught up on our relationships, our work, our small "drama's" in our 20 something life... and lastly we caught up with each other on our BODY IMAGE life. We both have had our history with the cruel world of what society thinks young girls and women "should" look like... after our coffee date I felt an urge to write. An urge to get the word out and to spread body love to all women out there who struggle with this mental and emotional aspect in life. The desire to be accepted in the world of body image. Let me tell you, what a crazy world to live in. I don't mean physically, it's the mental place that we live. The voices inside our heads. The food ego, the body ego, the over all ego who can take you down with one thought, one word... it's intense.
Here I am ready to write a letter to my 16 year old self on what life is really about .....
Dear 16 year old Lauren,
Here is some advice. I am currently 27 years old. Let me tell you that you have been through some crazy shit. Sorry to be so blunt but it's true. You have been through so much pain... I am here to give you advice because WOW have I learned so much. I have so much to tell you but what I want to focus on in this letter is about body image. So here I go....
First of all YOU ARE ENOUGH. You always have been and you ALWAYS will be. You do not need to be a certain size to be worthy. Whatever body you are in is perfect and you don't need to prove anything to anyone. You just get to prove to YOURSELF that you are worthy because you are breathing.
Obsessing over food, calories, restricting, protruding bones, weight, burning calories, keeping a food log, body checking in the mirror, and all the thoughts are A WASTE OF YOUR TIME. Actually, it's a waste of your PRECIOUS time. I am telling you as much as you think it's worth it, it's not. I promise you that letting go of all the obsessing will give you a life worth living. It will be more beautiful than you could ever imagine. It's a life built on love and freedom not restriction and hate.
Please please please LEARN what LOVING YOURSELF means!!! Loving yourself will be the root to getting you through the challenges in your life. I know you have no idea what it means to love yourself at 16 years old but WISE WORDS; LEARN NOW. Read books, ask a mentor or someone you look up to, be open to growing as a person, ANYTHING that it takes, DO IT. I know it will be uncomfortable but it's worth it. I wish I learned when I was your age. It will give you a PEACE of mind. You will feel much safer in the world and you will learn to accept your body that much more.
BALANCE. This will be such an important word in your life. Learn balance now, not later after many years of self destruction and suffering. Balance is the key to life. I know how extreme you are in all areas of your life. It's okay. It is o-k-a-y. You can have a life with balance. You can eat whatever you want. Food is neither good nor bad. You get to listen to your body and get super intuitive. Your health, vitality, mentality is much more important than protruding bones, being at your lowest weight, and fitting into your "skinny" jeans. You can have balance, eat all foods, be healthy, move with love, eat with love, and love your body. I know you may think it's impossible but IT'S TRUE. I know because I lived it.
I can write you a book but today I'm only going to write you a short letter because I know that you get to learn for yourself. You get to learn through experience. But hold on to these words.
WORTHY FREEDOM LOVE BALANCE
I got your back. Always.
With (body) love, Lauren
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