I write a lot about love.
Most people see the word love and automatically think about giving love to others. Maybe it's to a family member or a significant other. There is a certain type of love that I didn't even know existed until I was 23 years old.... self-love.
I'm almost ashamed to say that I didn't even know what loving yourself meant. I always had tons and tons of love to give to others but I never gave any to myself, at least not consciously. When I was just about to turn 23 years old I went through a traumatic break up. It turned my world up side down and left me not knowing who I was anymore. I completely lost myself and hit a dark place in my life.
My darkest time was a divine intervention that helped opened my eyes up to who I always was and to who I truly am. It took me 3 years to get to the place I am today. I'm not perfect and I still have so many lessons to learn in life but the growth inside of me has been massive.
My journey to healing all began with those unfamiliar words ....love yourself.
I want to share with you the 8 lessons on why to love yourself....
- Loving yourself will help you find your natural weight. Loving yourself is healthier than kale. It's healthier than feeding it the "perfect" super foods. It's healthier than working out every single day. The center and source of the universe is love. If you cannot love yourself then how the heck is your body suppose to function correctly? Even if you were to eat and workout in this "perfect" way that I'm describing... if your body, mind, and soul does not receive the love from you then you might as well stop trying so hard to eat healthy and workout because you are counter acting all the "good" you believe you are doing for yourself. Just stop. Stop all the obsession, the dieting, the self hate talk, the body shaming... stop the meal planning, workout obsession, thinking about food, looking at yourself in the mirror and shitting all over yourself, revolving your life around how you look, what you eat, what you don't eat, what you did to workout, what you didn't do to workout, what you think you should eat, what you shouldn't eat... blah blah blah and so on... STOP all of that. Start your journey to self love. Put down the diet book and pick up a personal development book that teaches you about loving yourself, bettering yourself, believing in yourself, dreaming... finding your passion. Take yourself out to a romantic dinner by yourself, take a bubble bath and listen to music, go to your favorite coffee shop, learn how to meditate.... connect to a source higher than you. After I started my self love journey I realized how disconnected I was to my higher source. I was empty of spirituality, once I found that I swear I began to find myself. When you are connected, you love yourself, then your body will regulate.. it will find its balance ...your weight will settle, you will naturally find exactly where your body wants to be without even trying... obsess over self love and not your diet and fitness and you just watch what happens.
- Loving yourself gives you power. You don't "need" others to survive.This is a BIG one for me. Since I didn't know what loving myself meant for the first 23 years of my life I put all my love into others. I also depended on their love. Serious dependency. I didn't know how dependent I was on others until later on in my life. Until I started doing the work. I was in a relationship for most of my life. First off I always had my parents, my brother, my best friends, and for 8 years a boyfriend. When we broke up I went through my first heartbreak. To me it was the worst, darkest pain I've ever felt. Since I only knew how to love others when I got into that state of depression I felt my body was completely depleted of love. I had family to love me but that was different. I didn't have "my person" that I had for so long to distract me from the self love that I didn't have for myself. Being heart broken, alone, and depressed I seriously felt as if I couldn't survive without that person. I was just too sad. The pain was too great. I needed someone to save me. Once I began my journey to self love I realized that you do not have to count on or depend on anyone for love or happiness. If you love yourself then you will always have you. You can still fall in love and be in a partnership but if for some reason they are gone you will still be able to survive. The love inside yourself will keep you going. Will get your through the sadness and the pain. The love inside you gives you the power to stand strong, it gives you the freedom to never having fear of loss because you will always have you.
- Loving yourself allows you to help others. I always thought I was so caring. I would help anyone in need. It was important for me to be there for them. Most people in need would benefit way more from someone that practiced self love. When people are in an over whelm or an upset advice from me would be to breathe and to love themselves through it. To be kind to themselves. To take care of themselves and do anything they need to feel better in that moment. To be their own biggest supporter. We know ourselves the most, therefore we know how to help ourselves. If I did not love myself that means I would be so far from myself that it wouldn't make sense that I can help others in an impactful way. Being there for someone is always appreciated but you can do so much more for others if you love yourself.
- Love is the source of the Universe. The Universe is massive. It's infinite. It's why we are here. Love is the source. We are apart of the universe. The universe is within each and everyone of us. Therefore love is our source. If we do not love ourselves our source is turned off. We are turned off from the Universe. We are disconnected. In order to receive love you must know love. Fall in love with yourself and watch the world change before you.
- Being able to love yourself allows you to see the beauty in life. When you radiate love, when you feel love, when you walk with love then you attract the things in your life that are love. You manifest love, you see love everywhere. The positive and the beauty are all around you. This doesn't mean that all the upsets, negative things, traumatic things in the world do not happen in your world. Those are all still happening... but since you surround yourself with love you see the beauty in life rather than the darkness. Life will throw challenges at you. Yes, there will be times when it's tough, and hard, and unbearable..that all still exists but if you think about it I would rather go through all the hard stuff with love in my heart. It's your survival. When dark things happen in your life and your body is empty of love that's when the world can look scary. It can hit you so hard it leaves you feeling doubtful and hopeless. It can make you question life. But where there is love. There is life.
- Self love is selfless. Some people may think that loving yourself can be selfish. It can be conceded. It makes you the center of your own universe. But in my opinion if you do not love yourself and give yourself the kindness and caring that you give others than that makes you extremely selfish. So in my experience, self love is selfLESS. Being able to love yourself gives you so much of everything meaning you can give more of yourself to everyone else. You actually are doing more for others by loving yourself.
- Loving yourself ignites your creative passion. When I began my journey to loving myself and really understanding what it meant I opened up a door to all the creativity that I once loved so much. When I started to love myself I wanted to do things that made me feel love, that fueled my creative passion. I started to paint again. I even took an art class at Santa Monica community college that gave me so much joy. I bought canvases and started painting at home. I painted with so much love that I gave friends and family some of my art pieces as gifts which gave me even more joy. I started writing again... I sparked the writer in me. I've always wanted to write a book so I finally started it. I'm almost half way done with my first book which keeps the love and the passion flowing through my veins. When I love myself my creativity blossoms! When there is no love and there is no creativity... my creative side gives me life, so in other words I will always work on my self love because I LOVE being creative.
- Loving yourself connects you to a higher being. As I mentioned before for the first 23 years of my life I was completely disconnected from my spirituality. I grew up going to catholic school my whole life and I just never connected to it. I saw it as a obligation because that's just the type of school I was at. It didn't spark love or connection in me. I also had some really uncomfortable experiences at christian services. Although I always respected the religion I grew up in I just honestly didn't connect. I definitely think this was a big correlation to disconnecting to the source inside of me. Love. I was disconnected from the love I had for myself because I never really connected to something higher than myself. As I begin my journey to self love I started getting introduced to certain types of spiritual healers and books that I totally connected to. That made me feel good. That opened my eyes. That made me start to make the connection to myself and to a higher source. Loving myself connected me to my spirituality. It changed me into a person that I love.So there you have it. 10 lessons on why you get to love yourself. Take what connects to you and leave what doesn't serve you.Helping ladies like myself with self love and body love is definitely a big part and purpose in my life.Join the sisterhood. Join The Body Love Tribe private Facebook group.2016 Copyright Lauren McAulay