Living in the Grey Area

Dearest Reader, 

I get it. You have based your life off of living in black and white. Why do I get it? Because I've lived in the black and white world for a very long time. It almost didn't feel like a choice. I literally saw the world in black and white. I didn't understand there was this beautiful world called The Grey Area. My wonderful and glorious Grey Area. I love you so dearly. I had to go through some major lessons to find you. Now that I know you exist, I can live the rest of my life dedicated to honoring you and choosing you. 

I want to explain why living in a black and white world is so harmful. (It's quite damaging to be honest).

The only way I know how to explain is through experience in my life. So here it goes. 
 

F O O D

Oh boy. This one is a dark one. I'm sure most of you know by now that in high school I started this thing with food. I controlled it. Every single thing that went in my mouth. It was an all or nothing type of approach. The grey area with food wound't show up in my life for the next 10+ years. So I guess you can say this is my biggest lesson in the black and white world. I either had to eat "perfect" or go all out. I was an expert restrictor, an expert vegan, an expert calorie counter, an expert grocery shopper, an expert control freak. I couldn't see food in any other light. There were massive rules around EVERYTHING. Having a green juice AND a piece of pizza in one day was never an option. There was no grey! It was perfection or destruction. I understand that having an eating disorder is a disease- with lots of mental health issues attached to it but most people who suffer around food have lost all sense of balance. It literally doesn't exist in our world. 

The good news. I found out it didn't need to be that way. There is this wonderful place to land- and that my friends as you know is called The Grey Area. It's a place of balance, love, peace, freedom, and vitality. Food is just food. It's neither good or bad, right or wrong. It's neutral. ALL food is available to you. The great news is once you allow all food your body naturally craves a balance of all food. Now I can drink smoothies in the morning and/or eat a donut. I can have a chicken salad for lunch and/or pizza. I can have salmon, brown rice, and veggies for dinner and/or enchiladas and drinks! If I drink a green juice for lunch I'm completely okay with having ice cream for dessert (even if I don't drink that juice- it doesn't matter!). AND get this- my body just does this naturally. There are no disordered eating habits around it. I eat with my intuition, listen to my body, and deliver what it wants. You really can have it all. Trust the process. Give The Grey Area a chance.

Thinking this is impossible? Learn more about The Body Love Society  AND feel free to email me for support: lauren@thebodylovetribe.com

 

S P O R T S

It felt as if I was born an athlete. At 4 years old I started playing soccer and the rest was history. I played all the way through college- so about 20+ years. It was one of the only important things in my life for the first 2 decades of my life (besides family and friends of course). Playing sports gave me purpose in life. I learned so many wonderful lessons from being an athlete. Such as hard work, determination, teamwork etc. I also met my best friends. So growing up an athlete was an absolute positive. 

As you know I was very black and white. So playing almost became too much. Literally every single game was life or death. It was to the extreme. My mood was based off how soccer was going in my life. Was I starting? Was I playing a full 90 minute game? Did we win? If all these questions were a yes then life was good. All was well. I could breathe. BUT if any of these questions were a no then all hell would break loose in my life. My world was crumbling. My world was ending. It was sad to put so much pressure on myself. I understand that playing a sport is intense and competitive but damn, it's not THAT important. 

When I graduated from college I remember saying these exact words to myself. "I will never stress about anything else in my life now that my soccer career is over." OMG LOL. Poor 22 year old Lauren. She had no idea what was coming for her. The point is- I don't play competitive soccer anymore. So I'm just thinking it would have been nice to ease up a bit, to live in the grey area for those 20+ years of my life (especially in college). There REALLY was a grey area I could have lived in. 

 

R E L A T I O N S H I P S . L I F E . L O S S

I could literally write a book on this section (I probably will). I'm actually not going to go TOO in depth with this because just by reading those 3 words you can already tell how crazy one can get in the black and white world. 

I guess the theme of this would be: when something goes wrong in my world, my relationships, a loss - I crumble. I'm broken. I feel like I'm in survival mode. The world is dark. I feel tons of fear and to be quite honest can become a victim to my circumstances. 

YES, I 100% get to feel my feelings and I get to be validated in what I feel and I get to take all the time I need to grieve, cry, heal etc (and so do you!).

When a trauma happens in someone's life it doesn't automatically mean that the world or the Universe is out to get you or against you. It doesn't mean you are being punished. But of course living in a black and white world I thought for this to be true. Life is fucking hard sometimes AND it's also fucking wonderful. So that being said there will always be a grey area to live in even when you feel like your world around you has been shifted and shaped and all out of sorts. 

Take all the time you need to feel and grieve dear one, but remember about the black and white thinking. It's never one way or the other.

"And you were just like the moon, so full of imperfections, but just like the moon you shined in times of darkness." 

Breathe.
Be compassionate with yourself. 
Let go of things you cannot control.
Give yourself the access to live your life in The Grey Area. 

What are your thoughts with black and white thinking? Have you found your grey area yet? I would love to hear from you- email me at lauren@thebodylovetribe.com

xx
Lauren

Ps. I must give credit to one of my best friends (who happens to be a psychologist- phewf that's helpful!) and my lovely therapist who has identified the black and white thinker in me. I owe it to them to my new found Grey Area.

When life kicks you in the ass...DO THIS.

Hi there sweet human, 

I just want to let you know that whatever you are going through I am sending you so much love. I know how it feels to be shook to your core. To feel completely broken and crushed by life's circumstances. Call me dramatic. Call me relatable. Whatever it is. I hope you know that one of my super powers (and biggest curse) is that I feel so deeply that I know how to connect to your pain and love you through it. 

Life has been kicking me in the ass the last fews weeks so I wanted to share what I've been doing to love and support myself. Not only that- but honestly, to survive. That's how it feels to me at least. Some people don't feel as deeply as I do and that's okay but what I do want to say is no matter how you take on "traumatic events" in your life just know whatever you feel is valid. It's okay to feel what you are feeling and it's okay to take all the time you need to heal and rejuvenate. 

As you know, I'm someone who feels deeply so the healing process takes a bit longer and I need A LOT A LOT of self-care, self-love, and support. 

Here's what I've been up to: 

CRY

Do it as much as you want and as much as you need to. Holding it in will only prolong the healing process. Get messy, get ugly, get loud. You are allowed to cry and feel it all. Crying will help you release the stored up pain, remorse, and sadness. Take a long shower cry. Cry yourself to sleep. Curl up in a ball and cry. Take a walk outside and cry. Listen to music and cry. Let loose my friends. Get it out. I promise it's okay. 

GET WOO WOO! [SPIRITUAL]

I wouldn't say I'm religious but I'm definitely spiritual. When my life is crumbling around me I start to piece it all back together with things that bring me peace. So for me I light incense, candles, and palo santo. I wear my crystals around my neck and have the rest of my collection surrounding me. I have salt candles, salt lamps, and an essential oil diffuser. I have kundalini yoga/meditation music running constantly. People may feel this isn't for them but for me this is my breath. This is my survival. Regardless if holding some crystals and lighting some incense does anything, to me it makes me feel centered. I love it so dearly. 

READ SELF-HEALING BOOKS

You get to choose whatever book resonates with you. For me, I've been guided by a couple books I love so much. I've already read them but I knew it was time for another read. I absolutely recommend The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein and You can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. I love books so so so much. You literally have incredibly healing words right at your fingertips. They are coming from people who absolutely understand what you are going through. Nothing feels more healing than reading a book that literally speaks to you. 

JOURNAL

Oh I love this one. I don't know about you but writing is extremely healing for me. Something about getting your soul onto paper aligns me. It's not always easy and it can get messy but my thoughts and feelings are my thoughts and feelings and I'm not going to be ashamed or apologetic for how I process emotions. If you don't know where to start with journaling I would start with writing down your gratitude. Most of the time when we dive into our journals we may feel some fear. I've learned that gratitude and fear cannot co-exist. Write about all the things you have in your life rather than what you don't have. It could give you a shift you need in your day to keep moving forward. There aren't any rules- you get to make them. Just write, write, write, and write and never feel ashamed. 

Part of my journaling was writing a letter to my body. It was surprisingly healing and definitely shifted the way I was thinking and how I was relating to my body. You can read my post HERE

REST

If you want to lay down all day long then do it. If your body feels fatigued then give yourself permission to rest. If you feel weak you get to rest. There's a difference between being lazy and giving yourself some self-care. I know for me my body has been emptied for the last month and I need to be still. I GET to be still. I've spent a lot of time laying down and hanging out on my couch. I still make sure I get up for a walk in the morning but if I need to lay low for a while then that's exactly what I'm going to do. It's such a beautiful commitment to yourself to rest and dive into your spiritual practice and read some books and write in your journal. 

LISTEN TO YOUR BODY

As you may know I'm an intuitive eater as well as coach women on intuitive eating (body love, self-love, and radical self-compassion too of course!) First off, I just want to say that ALL food is available to you and nothing ever has to be restricted if your body wants it. During this time of human trauma and spiritual healing I've been going through I've been really connecting to my body and right now my body is asking for anything and everything that is nutritious. I'm eating lots of watermelon, green juice, rich cheese, salmon, vitamins, fish oil, and water. Of course I've still been eating ice cream and pizza but most of my day is filled with rejuvenating foods that my body is asking me for. There is no diet talk- it's just me listening to what my body needs. I feel like my body is in a state of recuperating, rejuvenating, and getting back to its balance so for me I'm craving earthy foods that leave me feeling good. So I invite you to listen to what your body needs and if it's completely different than what my body needs that is perfect. You can't get this wrong. 

UNFOLLOW TRIGGERS

If you feel life is too heavy at the moment it's okay to get rid of triggers. For right now there are things on social media that I need to stay away from. It's not because I'm mad at the world or mad at friends or family- I just need to protect myself. The best thing I can do when I see something that makes my heart sink into my stomach is to unfollow or hide anything that doesn't serve my highest good. I've been unfollowing like crazy this past week and I know for a fact that this has helped my healing because I don't have massive triggers in my face on the daily. You can re-follow if you ever feel ready but when you are in times of healing YOU come first. It's the ultimate form of self-care and self-love. 

TALK TO PEOPLE YOU TRUST

If you are in a fragile state I would suggest to talk to people who you trust. There is NOTHING worse than reaching out for support and not feeling validated and understood. I'm not putting any blame on anyone I'm just telling you to be careful with you who you choose to open up to. Getting outside support is so important so this is a much needed step when you are going through something tough. You get to ask for help. Just to have someone listen to you is healing. Just like crying, it's best to process your thoughts and feel the comfort that you are not going through anything alone. It may feel so so so lonely at times but there are people out there that literally understand your pain to the depths of their core. SO get to talking. Friends, family, mentors- whoever YOU want. 

Note: My husband is my hero. 

GO TO THERAPY

I'll yell this from the mountain tops. I go to therapy and I love it! I strongly believe in getting professional help. Yes, you can talk to a friend or family member but to add even more support a therapist, counselor, spiritual healer, etc is so beneficial when healing from something massive in your life. Even when shit isn't necessarily going down in my life it's so refreshing to have a place to go to and have 1 full hour of time dedicated to me. I've been through a lot in my 20's and I wholeheartedly believe the only way I made it through some of the most painful things in my life is because of therapy. Don't be afraid to try something new. 

 

I want to end with this: 

I VALIDATE EVERYTHING YOU ARE GOING THROUGH
I FEEL FOR YOU AND HAVE COMPASSION FOR YOU
I HONOR YOUR FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS
I SUPPORT YOU
I LOVE YOU

If you are seeking help I would love to support you. Send me an email and book a free 1:1 call. lauren@thebodylovetribe.com

xx
Lauren

A Letter To My Body

Dear Body,

Wow. We've been through a lot. I'm so sorry. I feel so deeply with you. You've been through a lot of pain, torture, and trauma. All I can say is I'm so sorry.

I'm in a weird place. I feel like it's been me against you with the eating disorder in my past and then we made up and connected back to each other and then you turned around and betrayed me. Almost like a punishment.

For all the years I've put you through hell you turn around and prove to me that I in someway did this to myself. Maybe I did create this and maybe I didn't. Maybe we've been on the same side the whole time. Maybe we are in this life together and you are just as scared as I am. You go through your own shit that you didn't ask for. Maybe it's not either of our faults and we can just give this one over to the Universe/God.

We don't need to battle anymore. We are on the same team. We have been the entire time. We just didn't see it. Life and circumstances just happen. AND they happen for our highest good. As hard as that is to say, this life, for the both of us was meant to be.

I just want to love you and make you feel good. To be supported and taken care of. To feel safe with the soul that you house every single day. Let's make a pact.

Let's not blame each other for anything. It's us together experiencing life. I will guide us in the best way I know how and you keep on functioning the best way you know how. We get to have each other's back and take care of each other and know that when something happens that feels like we cannot survive, we band together closer than ever because we know that's when we need each other the most.

We will get through life's challenges together from here on out without any blame. Thank you body for helping me survive each day. I will keep trusting and listening to what you need and I will deliver. I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner.

If I only knew you have always wanted what's best for me; that you were never against me and never will be. I know now. Heal me, love me, support me, and I will do the same.

Love, Lauren 💗

Ps. Write a letter to your body and tag me or send me an email: lauren@thebodylovetribe.com. I would love for you to share. xx

3 Ways to Love Yourself Right Now

 

There are so many important components when it comes to learning how to be an intuitive eater. Learning the 10 principles, learning about food neutrality, constantly shifting your mindset out of the diet mentality... doing all this can change your life in so many ways and can absolutely help you find your freedom from food. 

This is all wonderful but I want to share another part of the equation that is sometimes put on the back burner...

S E L F - L O V E. 

That's right. Self-love is equally important when learning how to ditch the diet and become an intuitive eater. 

I want to share 3 ways to love yourself right now: 

1. FIND A GOOD READ

One of the first things that helped me on my self-love journey was diving into some amazing books- seriously life changing. I would love to share some of my favorite self-love books with you so you can find one that resonates with you... 

 


Check out these books and see which one speaks to you the most and READ IT! 

 

2. GET INTO A MORNING AND NIGHTTIME ROUTINE

One of the best things I ever did for myself was stick to a morning and nighttime routine. This allowed me to focus on my self-love journey everyday. It started my day off and ended my day with some positive energy and good feelings all around. 

So what did I do? 

Every morning when I woke up I would grab my journal next to my bedside. I skipped checking my phone- first things first was to get some thoughts on paper. 

+ I started with writing down all the positive things that were going to happen in my day. It was as if I was manifesting my day. Sharing all the good feelings I wanted to feel and all the good things I wanted to happen. I put them out there into the Universe! 

+ I wrote down 5 things I was grateful for. It could be anything from family and friends to drinking coffee and having fresh sunflowers in my home. I also wrote down 5 affirmations. Ex. I AM BEAUTIFUL, I AM POWERFUL. 

+Lastly I wrote down 5 things I loved about myself- It could have been. "I love my strong legs because they allowed me to be an awesome athlete." "I love my compassion and my kindness." ANYTHING works, this is not an assignment you can get wrong. 

The more you manifest positive things into your life and the more you have awareness for the things you are grateful for and what you love about yourself you will see shifts in your life that would have never been possible if you didn't focus on them! 

At the end of the day before I went to bed.... 

+ I would read a chapter of my book and reflect in my journal. 

+Fall asleep to a meditation. This is my favorite one.

I'm sharing with you what I did but this doesn't mean this is how you have to do it. Find any morning and nighttime routine that works for you! 

3. CHECK IN WITH YOURSELF

I love this analogy. Check in with yourself as if you are at a restaurant. When you are dining somewhere- the waiter/ waitress is always checking in asking if "you need anything." They do this multiple times throughout your meal at the restaurant because they want to make sure you are feeling good and all your needs are met. 

This is what you get to do everyday with yourself! Keep checking in throughout the day and ask: "What do I need right now?" Make sure to honor yourself and honor your needs everyday- this is a beautiful way to show yourself tons of self-love.

 

Want more support with self-love and intuitive eating? 
Check out The Body Love Society

 

With LOVE,
Lauren 

Ps. Have any questions? Send me an email: lauren@thebodylovetribe.com

Why Join The Body Love Society?

For anyone who doesn't know what The Body Love Society is it's an affordable + effective group coaching program that focuses on ditching the diet for good created by the lovely Jenna Free (@youaintyourweight) and myself ! It's a 6 month course that allows you to learn about intuitive eating and self-love; a beautifully healing program :) 

So, why join The Body Love Society? 

1. Learn all the principles of intuitive eating

There are 10 life changing principles when it comes to intuitive eating and during this course we address every single one of them. We really get you well educated on how to eat with intuition. When you learn this new way of eating it means that you will never have to diet again. Intuitive eating teaches you how to eat what you want without the guilt while giving your body exactly what it needs. 

2. Learn about self-love + self-care

You may think that the only part of the equation when it comes to ditching the diet is about learning how to have a healthier relationship with food. YES!  Although it's an extremely important part of the equation I truly believe that the only way to fully heal any disordered eating, the other part of the equation gets to be dealt with which is all about self-love love and self-care! We dedicate an entire coaching call to it and give you the tips and tools you need to make it happen! 

3. Learn how to ditch the diet for good

If you have been dieting forever, you feel stuck, and you just don't know what else to do then this is the course for you. We are a one stop shop to literally give you the exact tools to help you break free from the diets- we help you repair your relationship with food and your body image. All those voices that won't stop spiraling in your head about food and your body will be handled. This course it perfectly designed to seriously ditch the diet! 

4. Be coached by 2 anti-diet + body love experts

No only do you get one but you get 2 coaches :) Two heads are better than one! Which is why Jenna and I have come together to create this beautiful program for women who are struggling with their diet voices and negative self-talk about their body. We both were stuck in the diet/ disordered eating world for 10+ years so we have tons of experience- we have been in the exact place that you are in now so we know how to coach and navigate you out of the darkness and misery the diet world keeps you in. We got your back! 

5. Have a sisterhood support group

We have created a private Facebook group for all ladies who are a part of The Body Love Society. It's a place that you can turn to for support and have a group of like-minded women going through the same thing you are. You truly feel like you are never alone on this journey. Not to mention Jenna and I are in the group so you always have access to us- lots of extra coaching and Facebook Lives go down in the group so it truly does feel like constant support! 

6. Extremely affordable

For the amount of value that you are getting from this course the cost of this program is amazing. With 2 coaching calls a month, 2 Facebook Live Q&A's a month, bonus videos, constant support in the FB group, + more the program is only 6 payments of $149. (for now at least!) This is our intro price so prices do go up. You will not see this amount of value with such an affordable price anywhere else. Jenna and I are passionate about this program we created so we wanted to make sure everyone could have access to it! 

7. Find your freedom

Freedom is everything to me. I felt so trapped in my eating disorder that I never could even imagine the place where I am today. There was so much darkness and misery it just didn't seem possible. BUT IT IS! This course will lead you on your way to freedom! 

8. UNLEARN the diet rules + RELEARN intuition

We have been brain washed by our diet culture so no wonder it's so hard to get out and stay out. So that's where Jenna and I come into play- we constantly lead your mind into a new way of thinking. We help you UNLEARN everything that you think to be true about dieting and then help you RELEARN how to use your intuition and enjoy food again! 

9. Stop waiting for your life to happen! 

We have found that many women who start this program have been waiting to do magical things in their life- they believe they need their body to change before they can do the things they have always wanted to do. That stops here! In this program, there is no more waiting- you get to live your life NOW! That bathing suit, that career, that relationship, etc. is YOURS today. The size of your body has NOTHING to do with your worth. We teach you that you are already enough. 

10. Move with Love

Not only does this course focus on repairing your relationship with food, it also focuses on repairing your relationship with exercise. We teach you how to move with love. To find ways you enjoy moving your body. We grant you permission to never ever go on a run again if you hate it (or maybe you love it!?) The point is that you don't have to force your body into workouts that you just flat out hate. It's time to get to a healthy place with working out and find the joy in movement. Not to see it as a form of weight loss, burning calories, or a type of punishment. It's a form of self-love and ways to make your mind, body, and soul feel good! 

11. BONUS VIDEOS
When you get into The Body Love Society you also get lots of bonuses- 2 of those bonuses include a Crush Your Cravings + Perfect Your Portions video. These are power packed videos that give you the tools to figure out how to handle your cravings and your portions WITHOUT dieting! 

There are tons and tons and tons of more benefits by joining The Body Love Society. 

One month into our 1st program we ever ran one of our ladies, Brandi, posted in the private Facebook group saying: 

I’m really so thankful for this group, I feel like slowly I’m getting my life back. Jenna and Lauren you are saving lives ladies! Every damn day you take us closer to happiness!
I’m so grateful that I could order an iced caramel macchiato and tomato mozzarella basil panini at Starbucks without looking up nutrition facts or stressing about the carbs in it all.

That was said only one month into our 6month program! Imagine how Brandi is going to feel once she completes The Body Love Society. :) 

We are so thrilled to bring on our next group of ladies starting in June 2017! 

You can reserve your spot today- save it here!

 

If you would like to set up a 15 minute consultation call with me to learn more about our program you can do that here.  Feel free to email me as well if you don't find a time that works for you: lauren@thebodylovetribe.com

Also follow @thebodylovesociety on Instagram! 

With love + support! 
Lauren

Ps. Get your ditch the diet manifestation worksheet here! 

Having a bad body image day? READ THIS!

 

It really doesn’t matter how long I’ve been in recovery from my eating disorder- there are still moments or even days when body image comes up for me- the difference now is that I know what to do to support myself. In the past it may have sent me into a downward spiral- back into a diet/ restrict and binge cycle.

So what do you do when you just are “having one of those days?” When the voices don’t stop, the negative self-talk is damaging, and things are just feeling a little dark and hopeless in your life.

I’m here for you AND these are actions steps you can take to support yourself.

 

AVOID THE MIRROR

When you are feeling “judgy”- stay away from the mirror. If you know you have nothing nice to say to yourself body checking will only make a small thought turn into sending you down the rabbit hole of negativity. Don’t allow the voices to win. Stay away from the mirror until you are feeling like you are in a better place. Once you feel like you can look in the mirror and send loving thoughts to yourself just AVOID IT!

 

USE AFFIRMATIONS

Affirming beliefs are extremely powerful. You may think they are a waste of time but I’m telling you if you practice saying positive and calming beliefs it can totally get you out of a funk. Here are my favorite affirmations to use on a bad body image day (you can make up your own too!)

 

-I am worthy no matter what my body looks like.

-I choose to not care what others think of me.

-This is just a feeling, it will pass.

-I am safe, no one is judging me.

-I choose to NOT listen to these voices. I know they are lies.

-I am a good person; I have so many people in my life that love me the way I am.

-Even though I don’t completely love myself right now, I am doing the best I know how.

-Food is not the enemy, food is nourishment. I eat with my intuition, I trust my body.

You can create ANY affirmations that you want- as long as they give you a sense of calm when you say them aloud. You can’t get it wrong.

 

GET PRESENT

Think about what you are doing in this very moment. Right now, I'm at the park, with my two dogs, the sun is shinning, and I’m writing. Nothing else is happening in my world except what I am doing right now in this very moment. SO when you are feeling overwhelmed just start to be aware of what’s actually happening in your world. Are you simply watching TV? Are you out for a walk? Are you shopping? Are you hanging out with friends? Whatever it is just start getting present. You can even just notice the sky or whatever scenery is surrounding you. This will ground you and help you with the wandering negative thoughts. The point is - YOU ARE SAFE.

 

GO ON A WALK

If you have been following me for a while now you may or may not know that I love going outside in the sunshine with my two dogs, and taking a nice walk. It's something about getting outside, breathing in the fresh air, and moving my body that totally makes me feel like I've had a soul experience. So one of the best pieces of advice I can give someone who's in a funk- get outside! It doesn't have to be a long walk and it doesn't have to be a face paced walk. It really doesn't have to be anything- it can be whatever you want it to be. So the next time you are feeling off or having that negative body talk try to shake off those feelings with a walk and some breathing. It clears your head- that's for sure. 

 

WEAR COMFORTABLE CLOTHES

The other day I was wearing pants that were just too tight on my stomach. It was super uncomfortable and literally was hurting my stomach. I had to roll the pants down just to get relief. I should have known from the start that they just weren't the right pants to wear but I went against my judgement and wore them anyway. No wonder I had an off day with body image that day! I was uncomfortable and that put more focus and awareness on my body- the more focus I have on my body the more room there is to start judging. This is why it's so important to wear clothes that fit. The make you feel good. That don't make you hesitate before you walk out the door. We all have those clothes that we keep for some reason that every time we wear them it just never goes well. Get rid of them! Comfy doesn't mean you can't wear something sexy, fitted, or revealing- it's literally WHATEVER is comfortable to you- my favorite clothes to wear are yoga pants or running shorts with a tank top/ sweater depending on if it's hot a cold- I'm all about looser fit- even if it means I wear a size up I don't care- it's all about comfort for me :) 

 

GET SUPPORT

There is SO MUCH support out there: 
You can read a book- I recommend Body Kindness  
You can reach out to our private FB group The Body Love Tribe 
You can chat with NEDA: Free CHATLINE with NEDA
Email me: lauren@thebodylovetribe.com
Talk to me: Schedule a call with me
Get group support: Join The Body Love Society
Go look at BOPO Instagram accounts:
@thebodylovesociety
@laurenmcaulay_
@youaintyourweight
@mindsetforlife
@thechristinecho
@sweatpantsandcoffee
@____halle__
@omgkenziee
@feeding_of_the_fox
@nourishandeat

There are SO many more accounts to follow- on the hard days go and get lost in the BOPO world on Instagram- it's a beautiful place!!! 
I would also suggest to find your favorite YouTube channel and podcast (Call Me Body Positive-coming soon!!) 

Just know there are resources out there to support you. 

YOU ARE WORHTY
YOU ARE LOVED
YOU ARE ENOUGH 

Also refer back here when you need a safe space because I know those bad body image days can get rough- you are not alone!!

With love + body empowerment, 
Lauren

Ps. If you would like to get on the FREE Body Love Nutrition Chat Series (all about intuitive eating - anti-diet approach- sign up here babe!  + get your FREE Ditch the Diet Manifestation Worksheet!

Intuitive Eating Vs Dieting

I was stuck in the diet world/ disordered eating for 10+ years. There were rules, restriction, quilt, obsession, shame, torture,  misery- Yeah you get the picture. It was really a sick time in my life because it was the only thing I thought about. 

It wasn't until I found intuitive eating (and a bunch of other things) that I was able to ditch the diet and eat with intuition. 

Yes, it may sound a little woo woo but taking on the intuitive eating approach has seriously changed my life. 

So I wanted to give you a little guide I guess you can say on the difference between intuitive eating and dieting. 

Diet Talk: 
I hate my body, I will never be thin enough.

Intuitive Eating:
I have learned to love the body that I am in today. I send my body love and choose to accept my body because I know that weight loss and beauty have nothing to do with each other. 

Diet Talk: 
I can NEVER eat that because it has too many calories. 

Intuitive Eating: 
It doesn't matter how many calories are in that. If my body craves it then I get to eat it. 

Diet Talk: 
I should order the salad because I ate too much yesterday. 

Intuitive Eating:
I want to order the salad because my body is craving something fresh.

Diet Talk:
I can't eat that because I just ate a couple hours ago even though I'm hungry. 

Intuitive Eating:
I know I just ate lunch but my body still feels hungry so it's perfect timing you offered me something to eat. 

Diet Talk: 
I restricted all day so I could eat dessert tonight. I can't believe I almost ate the entire pie to myself, I'm beyond full, and can't breathe. 

Intuitive Eating:
Even though I knew there would be lots of dessert to choose from at dinner tonight I listened to my body and ate when I was hungry throughout the day. After dinner when it was time for dessert I chose what looked the most delicious to me and had a few bites of each. I was completely satisfied. I knew if I wanted more dessert I could have it but my body was content. 

Diet Talk: 
I go through this cycle where I eat perfect and then I fall apart and binge over the weekend. When Monday comes around I get back on track for the week and then fall into another binge.

Intuitive Eating:
Once I stopped restricting and gave myself permission to eat what my body wanted I stopped binging completely. 

Diet Talk: 
If I allowed myself to eat whatever I want I would NEVER stop eating. Also I would choose only indulgent foods and never go for anything nutritional. This is why I will always have to diet- I feel trapped. 

Intuitive Eating:
I trust my body. I know that because I give myself permission to eat whatever I want my body is always craving different things at different times. Sometimes I'm craving juicy ripe fruit, fresh green salads, protein, grains, and avocados AND sometimes I crave all kinds of sweets, ice cream, french fries, enchiladas, chips, and all of the "soul food" that makes me happy. I always know that all of it is available to me and I choose what sounds satisfying in the moment- I listen to when my body is full and know that if I want more food I can always have it. I live a life of balance with food. I feel complete freedom. 

 

I know it may sound scary to sop dieting but if it hasn't worked for you yet then trying something different is risk free. Even if you think dieting works to maintain your weight ask yourself how much you think about food. Ask if you are truly happy and if being in the diet world is something you can maintain forever. 

Hopefully you were able to see the difference physically with intuitive eaters and dieters but I hope you mostly noticed the difference in MINDSET. 

If you would like to learn how to ditch the diet and take on the intuitive eating approach - you can learn A TON by getting this FREE Body Love Nutrition Chat email series. 

Please comment below or email me and ask me ANYTHING! 
lauren@thebodylovetribe.com

With love + intuition, 
Lauren

PS. Join the closed Body Love Tribe Facebook group here

5 Ways to Reduce Anxiety

I'm no stranger to anxiety. I'm actually having a really anxious day as I type. BUT the thing about anxiety- even though it may be crippling at times, there are ways to reduce your anxiety.

I'm not saying that it will completely go away- maybe it will, maybe it wont, maybe it will give you relief even if it's for an hour- anything helps. 

We all have anxiety for certain reasons- some have more, some have less- anxiety can stir up because of food, body image, social situation, life situations... pretty much ANYTHING.

I want to share with you 5 ways to reduce anxiety....

1. Essential Oils

I love my essential oils. They are extremely soothing and relaxing. My favorite way to use my oils is to drop some lavender into my diffuser and let the aroma fill the air. The smells, the sounds, the energy can immediately decrease my anxiety. I love to lay on my bed, put on some kundalini meditation music, close my eyes, and breathe it out. 

2. Get grounded

I was talking to a good friend, Sarah, (who also happens to be an amazing psychologist) this week and she mentioned an amazing "grounding technique." Most of the time when someone is experiencing anxiety their head is in the clouds and they are no where near grounded. So- how to reduce anxiety? Get grounded! Sarah said that one of the best ways to ground yourself is to walk in the grass bare foot. I loved her suggestion because it's an accessible technique AND it works. 

Side note: If you are experiencing any anxiety or issues in your relationship Dr. Sarah Schewitz is an incredible resource. She has her doctorate in psychology and specializes in individual and couples therapy. She is currently taking new clients (online) + members for her Couples Learn membership site. You can check out her website + get FREE content + contact her HERE

3. Tapping

This one may be something new to you but I've used this technique many times to take my anxiety levels from an unmanageable state to manageable. Like I mentioned above, sometimes these techniques don't vanish your anxiety but the most important thing for me is to take it down a notch! 

"Tapping utilizes the body’s energy meridian points by stimulating them with your fingertips – literally tapping into your body’s own energy and healing power." Watch this YouTube video to see how it works and how you can add it into your daily routine. 

2 books I highly recommend to understand what tapping is: 

The Tapping Solution: A Revolutionary System for Stress-Free Living

The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss & Body Confidence: A Woman's Guide to Stressing Less, Weighing Less, and Loving More

4. Go somewhere you love

I work from home A LOT as I'm an entrepreneur. So sometimes when I'm at home my anxiety can get the best of me. I know when I'm in that funky state I need to get out and go somewhere I love. Personally, I love to walk to my favorite local coffee shop, get a latte, set up my computer, and get some work done. I love that I'm outside of the house, in a great environment with lots of good energy- it immediately calms my anxiety and I can keep going along with my day. SO, what can you do or where can you go that you love when you are feeling the anxiety rising? You are the only one who knows what you love!

Ps. I'm totally writing this blog in my coffee shop right now. :) 

5. Reach out for support

It's okay if you don't want to call someone and tell them your deepest darkest secrets or explain your anxiety- of course you can- but I get that some people aren't as open about their struggles- so what I do suggest is to just call a friend or someone you trust and just chat. Get yourself out of your inner world and have a light and airy convo with someone you care about. You can talk about the weekend or something funny that happened- ANYTHING. When you decide to distract yourself from your anxiety that's definitely a way to reduce the overwhelm. People are here to love and support you! 

Also, if you are someone who struggles with anxiety to a higher degree I would also suggest to look into getting a therapist. You deserve to have all the support in the world- anxiety is no joke AND I also want to share with you that you are not crazy, anxiety is real and you get to honor yourself and get the support you need. (Again, Dr. Sarah Schewitz is an incredible resource!

 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Please, always know that- and if you feel alone please never hesitate to reach out to me- lauren@thebodylovetribe.com 

With love + peace, 
Lauren

Ps. Get your Ditch the Diet Manifestation Worksheet HERE

 

 

What's 1 thing you would do in life if food + body image wasn't an issue?

Last week I wrote in The Body Love Tribe Private FB group: (click to join)

What's 1 thing you would do in life if food + body image wasn't an issue?

There are so many parallels in each answer that I thought it would be powerful to share. 

 

Each one of these answers are to be anonymous: 

 

  • Wear shorts!! I feel like I rarely, if ever, do!
     
  • Lay out by the pool or at the beach on the weekends. Wear shorts is a good one too.
     
  • Wear a crop top in public.
     
  • I have been struggling with my arms lately, the lean muscle I once had, is now fat and cellulite. So I guess wear sleeveless tops.
     
  •  Form fitting clothes
     
  • Pursue health, well until recently. It is hard when I fight myself mentally to eat the things I know are healthy i.e. Pressed organic juices. All I hear in my mind is how many carbs it is and I shouldn't be drinking it but I let my health (autoimmune disorders) get out of control because I was obsessed with counting macros and eating mostly low carb/low calorie crap food. I let go this week. I've been drinking juices and feeling better than I have in a long time!
     
  • Wear a bikini, crop top, shorts...etc
     
  • Wear a swimsuit. It's a combination of scars, stretch marks, and skin picking in general :( but some day I hope.
     
  •  Go to formal events.
     
  • I want to wear a bikini, go to a warm and beautiful place and drink nice cold drinks. Because I am really afraid to show my belly and scars to others. And I don't like to eat or drink in public.
     
  • Enjoy holidays without restriction or the need to exercise.
     
  • Go back to Oahu, where I grew up.. I haven't been back in 17 years because of body image.
     
  • Not go to the gym as often !!
     
  •  Go out more with friends and my husband...I'm always analyzing who will be there and if I have something to wear that won't make me feel as big as a house.
     
  • First, I want to thank all the ladies who shared their answers in the group. It's not always easy being vulnerable. I also like to say that vulnerability is power and a gateway to healing. 
     

A note to all of you ladies who shared + whoever is reading this feeling like they are being held back from their life because of body image....

I want you to know that you are not alone (as you can see). I want to validate your feelings and tell you that it's okay to feel this way - the best way to get past these feelings is to grow through them. To acknowledge them and begin to heal them. 

You do not need to stop your life. There is no waiting to wear those shorts or form fitted clothes. There is no, "I'll wear that bikini when I lose the weight." "I'll go to that social event when I slim down." 

YOU DO NOT NEED TO PUT YOUR LIFE ON HOLD

You get to live NOW. You are more than worthy to do anything you please in the body you have now. There are no rules that say- "no access to the pool until you have reached the perfect body." THAT'S TOTAL BS. 

You have access to every pool, beach, social event, etc NOW. It's not an until I... type of thing. It's a when I want I get to have it type of thing. 

Who put these rules into your head anyway? Society/ any other human on the planet doesn't get to control your life. You have created a story- since I'm not thin enough I can't do (insert your story here.) 

It's just a body wearing clothes, wearing a bathing suit, wearing shorts- you aren't breaking the rules, you aren't doing anything illegal. You aren't in danger- you are simply just living life and doing what YOU CHOOSE to do simply because YOU WANT TO. 

and that is perfectly okay.... 

There is not ever going to be an until... it's a RIGHT NOW. 

So I challenge you to wear those clothes or go to that party now- to stop putting your life on hold and waiting for that "perfect body." Losing weight does not all of a sudden bring you happiness for the rest of your life. It's finding the happiness within yourself NOW that will help you heal. 

You are a beautiful soul having a human experience. Don't waste one more day of your precious life hiding yourself for other peoples/ societies behalf. 

This is your life. Live now. 

Want to chat? schedule a call with me here.

With love + presence, 
Lauren 

Get on the FREE Intuitive Eating Series HERE. 

The #1 Way to Heal from ANYTHING

Everyone has something in their life that "tortures" their soul. Sorry to be blunt about it but in my experience there has been certain things in my life that captured, suffocated, and blackened my soul. It's sad to even write that because it seems so deep and painful but another thing that it is, is TRUE. 

 

People don't always talk about their shit which is one reason why people have so much shit. We can never just talk about it openly. Most feel that they need to hide what causes them pain so they aren't being a "downer" or bringing down the mood for someone else. Hiding our feelings and not sharing with someone that you trust can really damage you. 

 

There's a difference between just being straight out negative and sharing your feelings with someone. No one wants to be around a "negative nancy" BUT people do want to support someone who is being vulnerable and sharing what's going on with them from the heart.

 

So you may be wondering what is the #1 way to heal from anything? 

 

DON'T BE AFRAID TO GET THE SUPPORT THAT YOU NEED TO FREE YOURSELF. 

 

If you are living with something that is constantly heavy on your heart and deep in your mind- don't deny the support that is out there. 

 

I share this with you because if I didn't get the support that I needed I would never be where I'm at today. AND the support that I need in my life will ever be changing- in all walks of my life I I've needed different types of support so I make sure to get it. (This is something I learned over time, it didn't come natural) 

 

BUT you get to be a YES. 

 

If you block your resources it will be SO MUCH MORE CHALLENGING to ever heal from your "demons." There are massive amounts of excuses and I totally get it. BUT by not taking on the resources that will whole heartedly support you, you are basically giving yourself the middle finger.

 

If you're life is suffering wouldn't you do anything to get the help that you need to create peace in your life?

 

I know it can be scary to be a YES to get support. To ask for help. I know. AND that's okay. Nothing says that you can't be scared AND get support.

 

If your life isn't working for you now, might as well take a risk by getting the support you need and see what happens.  

 

I understand you. I feel for you. I know, I know, I know x 1000000. 

 


You get to be an advocate for yourself and be the one who decides to change your life. 

 

For those of you suffering with body hate + food obsession. Click here. 

With love, 
Lauren

 

Self-care: Why does it matter?

I was never the type to go out of my way to care for myself. To give myself what I needed when I knew shit was going down and I just needed to relax and put myself first. 

I know for many- putting yourself first is tough. You think that you don't deserve it, you haven't worked hard enough yet, you have too many things on your "to do's", you are taking care of the kids, etc etc... whatever it is we all have an excuse to not take care of ourselves. 

So I want to STOP that now. It's time to start giving yourself the love and nurture your mind, body, and soul desire. 

Yesterday, I was feeling depleted mentally & emotionally. My anxiety was high and I was starting to worry about the future (things that I CAN'T control). There was a moment when I could have kept pushing through my day, getting all the stuff done on my to-do list, and totally ignore my body's cry for help. 

My body needed peace, calm, relaxation, and a timeout from the world around me. I knew in that moment I needed to honor my soul. 

So what did I do? 

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I ran a bath for myself. Lit my salt candles, put on some kundalini meditation music, dimmed the lights, got out my essential oils I love, and threw my new bath bomb in the tub I got from one of my lovely friends for my birthday. 

As I soaked in the bath, I closed my eyes and just started breathing. I started asking the universe to have my back and to take all the anxiety and worries out of my body. I trusted in that moment that no matter what I was worrying about it would be okay. With the positive surroundings I was able to find peace in my chest again and unwind for the day. 

After my bath,  I put on my cozy pajamas, I went through my skin regiment, put on aloe vera lotion, and finished making an amazing dinner I had in the crockpot. I told myself to relax for the rest of the night and pick up the to-do's tomorrow. 

So why is self-care so important? 

Well, for one because you only deserve the BEST. 

+You matter
+You get to honor your mind + body + soul
+Reduces stress
+It helps you teach others around you to self-nurture (positive influence) 
+It helps you function
+It helps you sleep
+It rejuvenates your soul
+It's a beautiful form of self-love

Taking a bath is not the ONLY way to self-nurture. 

  • It could be taking 5 minutes to meditate everyday 
  • Going on a 15 minute walk at your lunch break to get fresh air
  • Journaling before bed 
  • Reading your favorite book 
  • Drinking coffee or tea in the sunshine 
  • Taking a nap or sleeping in 
  • Buying yourself fresh flowers 

It can be ANYTHING that makes you feel good which is the whole point of self-nurture. 

What are you going to do THIS WEEK to make sure you are taking care of yourself? (Comment below and let me know!) 

If you need extra support in self-love, self-nurture, intuitive eating, body acceptance, + living an extraordinary life check out THE BODY LOVE SOCIETY!  

We begin on Monday, March 20th- so claim your spot now! 

With love + self-nurture, 

Lauren 

PS. Get on the Body Love Nutrition Chat Weekly Series to learn more about the steps to becoming an intuitive eater

5 Ways to Move with Love

In my past, I've had a very unhealthy relationship with working out. I came from a place of needing to burn calories, judging myself, comparing myself to others, and so on. Although working out is a form of self-love and self-respect, I was turning it into a body hate experience. 

A few weeks back I was at a yoga class and now that I have an entirely new relationship to moving my body I was able to guide my way through this yoga class with love and only love... 

I want to share with you 5 ways to move your body with love. 

1. Do not look in the mirror while you are working out. This only sets you up to judge yourself, body check, talk shit about yourself, and obsess over what isn't as fit as you wish for it to be. You are living in a complete negative mindset which defeats the purpose of moving you body in the first place.

When you avoid the mirror you skip all the negative self talk and you are able to be present to what you are doing. In my case, I was able to flow with love instead of hate.

2. Do not compare yourself to others. Looking left and right could be extremely damaging. The second you start wishing you had the woman's body next to you is the second you lost yourself. You are now in a spiral of thoughts. You start thinking of your next diet, how much weight you need to lose, how much more working out you need to do, and you literally start thinking as if the woman next to you in better in some way. The best way to avoid comparing is to NOT look at all. Keep your eyes on your own mat. 

When you do not compare yourself to other women in your workout classes or at the gym, or anywhere this may occur. You are putting yourself first. Not even giving the time of day to look left and right is so extremely loving to your mental health as you will skip out on all the negative self talk as mentioned above. 

3. Listen to your body and give it what it's asking for. In the past, I would never listen to any body signals. My only thought during as workout was if you are not ready to die by the end of your workout then you are not working hard enough and the workout didn't even count. Now that I'm in a loving space with moving my body I listen to what my body needs. So for example, as I was in this yoga class, when my body was asking for a rest I would go into child's pose and take a minute to recover. I wanted to push myself but I also wanted to enjoy the class. When my body told me to stay strong, I did, when it told me to rest, I did.

4. Don't judge your workout ability. If you are a beginner, intermediate, or expert with working out, never judge yourself for your level. All that matters is that you are moving your body in the first place. When I was in my yoga class, I didn't judge myself for not going as hard as I use to. I gave myself a break and allowed myself to enjoy the class instead of talking shit to myself the whole time. The experience is beyond more invigorating + so much more loving when you just listen to your body + allow without judgement.

5. Choose movement that you ENJOY.  I repeat this so many times through my message to the world. You never ever have to move your body in ways that you do not enjoy. If you hate to run, don't run. If you love to hike, please hike! If you hate spin, don't spin. If you love yoga, do yoga. If you love walking, playing a sport, or all of the above and in-between, just do that. Moving your body is not a punishment. It's a gift. It's endorphins. It's respecting and loving yourself + your body. 

This week: Figure out what you LOVE and only do that. Trust me, it will change the way you think about working out. See it only as moving your body with love, not with hate. 

Love, 

Lauren 

Ps. If you want to learn more about intuitive eating + receive tools and tips on nutrition for the mind + body + soul - get on the Body Love Chat Weekly Email Series here! 

Pss. If you haven't downloaded this Ditch the Diet Manifestation Worksheet - get it here!

MY Top 10 Body Love Holiday Gifts

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The holidays are here and that means everyone is in the process of buying gifts for their loved ones.... I wanted to share with you my all time favorite body love gifts that you can pass along. I know how much they brighten my life so why not share...

1. Himilayan Salt Lamp

I absolutely love salt lamps. They surround your home with amazing energy and give your a sense of calm and ease. I keep my lamps on 24/7.

 

2.  Essential oil diffuser + Oils

I love adding lavender when I sleep and lemon when I clean. Sometimes I do a mixture of oils. Another peaceful, calming add on to your home.

 

 

3. Mug Warmer

I love sipping on hot drinks in the morning. Coffee and tea make me happy. Especially HOT coffee and tea! I like to sip slowly so most of the time I would be walking back and forth to the microwave to heat up mug. But with this mug warmer I can keep my drinks as hot as I like until I finish.

4. Dream Catcher

Something about dream catchers just make me feel safe. I love hanging them above my bed to fight off any bad dreams. I mostly just love the look- it gives another good sense of energy in my room along with my salt lamp and oil diffuser!

5. Journal

Journaling is such a calming exercise. I like to journal in the morning and write down things that I'm grateful for and what I want in my life. It's a place to write down my thoughts; a safe space!

 

6. Mugs

If anyone knows me, I have a cupboard full of mugs- they give me such JOY! No matter how many I have, a new mug will always brighten my day. It's not the mug itself that I love- it's how I feel when I drink from it.

7. The Universe Has Your Back

I love Gabrielle Bernstein! This is her latest best selling book. It will heal you from start to finish!

 

8. The Girls Guide 

If you or anyone you know is just about to graduate from college, is in their 20's or 30's I HIGHLY recommend this book! Everything a girl needs to know POST college days- it's getting advice from women who have already gone through it who wish they had known before. It's a LIFE survival guide!

 

9. Papasan Chair

My favorite place to sit and meditate. Cozy, comfy, and peaceful. It's also a fun space for guests to sit on and love the look in my apartment.

10. Keurig

I love love love my morning coffee. My Keurig makes it that much more enjoyable. It makes a single serving AND you can have an assortment of flavors. It's easy to use and prevents wasting pots of coffee. I personally just like drinking one cup a day so it's perfect! Not to mention I love the colors this brand comes in- one of my favorite gifts I ever received!

BONUS 

11. The 14 Day Body Love Holiday Detox 

If you or anyone you know is looking to get through the holidays without freaking out over the food, the weight gain, the social anxiety, the restricting, the dieting, the constant thoughts - give yourself or a friend or family member the gift of peace, ease, and freedom around loving their body and loving themselves.

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Happy Holidays! xx Lauren

10 tips to NOT hate yourself after Thanksgiving dinner

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I know I know. Thanksgiving dinner is coming up and I can feel the anxiety rising from all the ladies in the diet/ disordered eating world.

I am here to help you get through Thanksgiving with a BREEZE. 

Not only will you feel less anxiety, enjoy your company, and not feel like a stuffed guilty turkey after dinner; you will have an experience that will allow you to love yourself rather than hate yourself after such an anticipated meal.

So here it goes. 

  1. First of all, it's OKAY to feel anxious. Acknowledge your feelings rather than fighting them. Surrender to your feelings. Don't judge or shame yourself. IT'S OKAY to feel this way!

  2. When you wake up in the morning listen to this video HERE - TRUST ME !!!

  3. Fill out this Body Love Journal

  4.  When you get anxious -Get on the phone with one of your best friends/ closest person in your life that you can share your worries with. Talk to someone who understands you and can give you a space to be heard and to be understood.

  5. Create your mantra for the day- Ex. "Food is love !" "I am safe when I eat!" "I deeply and completely love myself!" - Choose one of these OR create your own. Choose something that makes you feel good and at ease. Repeat your mantra ALL DAY LONG out loud and/or inside your head.

  6. Move your body with love. I suggest to take a nice walk with friends/ family/ dogs. (This is not a workout! This is connecting to your body, getting present, and breathing!)

  7. NO RESTRICTIONS! All food is available to you.. all I ask you to do is LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. When you look at the food does it look good to you/ sound satisfying? If yes. Then ALLOW yourself to have it without any inner dialogue. Just keep listening to your body's wants and needs. If it doesn't look good to you then SKIP IT.

  8. Before you take a bite of your Thanksgiving dinner get present! Look at your food and SEND LOVE to it. Tell your food why you are grateful for it and how it is going to POSITIVELY serve you.

  9. CHEW AND TASTE!!!! When you start to eat make sure to chew your food slowly and actually taste it. Relish it! Enjoy it! Love it! Soak in how amazingly delicious it tastes. As you are present to this be aware where your hunger/ satisfaction is at... are you starting to feel full ? How many more bites do you think you want? Are you completely satisfied?? When you are content and satisfied CHOOSE to stop when done.

  10. If you majorly "failed" tips 1-9 WHO CARES! Do not judge yourself for anything ... this is a journey and a process to heal your food and body issues - ESPECIALLY around the holidays.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. 

Happy Thanksgiving!  xoxo Lauren

PS. Last chance to take on the 14 Day Body Love Holiday Detox with included bonuses- check it out HERE!

14 Day Body Love Holiday Detox!

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Let me ask you a couple questions. 

  • Are you starting to get those anxious feelings as the holidays approach?

  • The anxiety of all the parties, food, and desires to feel confident in your outfits?

  • Do you have thoughts of, "I'm so nervous to gain weight during the holidays, I better start dieting now so I can binge on the family/ social events."

  • Are you already starting to say, "I'll start my diet January 2nd?"

  • An overall feeling of FEAR?

IMAGINE THIS.....

Imagine feeling at ease during the holidays. You show up to Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, NYE, News Years Day, and ALL the other parties in between feeling at peace around all the food.

You don't have any worries about the food because you know that you are not restricted and that all food is available to you.

You also feel confident with your body and how you look and feel in all of your outfits- you have a whole new understanding of self-love and body love.

Best of all, you actually care more about focusing on spending time with family and friends than you do about the food or any type of diet talk or guilt around eating/ gaining weight.

Your mind is peaceful, loving, calm, 

confident, and clear. 

I am here to help you make all of this your REALITY.

I wanted to let you know about my HOLIDAY SPECIAL...

The 14 Day Body Love Holiday DETOX!

This is what you will get: 

  • 3- 1:1 coaching sessions (Day 1, Day 7, Day 14)

  • Access to the Body Love Resource Bank (+ the Body Love Book Shelf!)

  • 2 calming/ zen audio tracks to keep the negative self- talk away

  • Weekly emails to help support you on your 14 day detox!!!

  • 24 hr email access for Body Love Support

Find out my secret strategy to NEVER dieting again and be free from your crazy thoughts around food. 

-----------

It's time to stop dieting, losing control, and hating

yourself for it. Take back your life NOW. 

There are limited spots available- I will be taking on 5 women who are ready to DETOX!!

-----------

Sign up BEFORE Thanksgiving and get a FREE Body Love Product - Choose between a mint clay mask or berry scrub :)

-----------

YOUR INVESTMENT:

$147 

(The detox begins when we schedule our 3 sessions; you will get an email from me once you are registered.) 

register-save-your-spot-here

Don't allow another holiday season control your emotions- You are an EMPOWERED, CONFIDENT, BEAUTIFUL WOMAN who gets to believe that herself!

What Does a Body Love Coach Eat Anyway?

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This is a question I get often so I wanted to make a blog post about it. I am going to be extremely REAL with you.

I've worried about opening up about my "nutrition" because in the body love world there can be LOTS of contradictions. I am PRO ANTI- DIET so when it comes to sharing what I eat I don't want there to be any mixed signals.

I first want to state that ALL FOOD is neither good nor bad. It's NEUTRAL. You are not right or wrong for eating any type of food you want. It can be salmon and veggies or it can be pizza and french fries. IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER AND IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU ANY MORE OR LESS WORTHY when choosing a certain food.

OK now that I got that covered.

I have learned to eat with intuition and without restriction. When you get to a place when you know what your body is asking for and that ALL food is available to you that's when the freedom begins.

So what do I eat?

I EAT EVERYTHING.

This is what a typical day would look like: (everyday is different but I will give you a little glimpse)

Breakfast:

I like to make myself a shake. I've been doing this for the past 5 years because it's something I choose to do because I just love it. Not to mention it's incredibly easy, delicious, and convenient. Again, to be clear I do not drink these as a diet tactic, to lose weight, or anything diet culture related. I do it because it makes me feel good and my intentions are extremely neutral.  Here are some pictures so I can give you a visual...

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This is my favorite shake to date- so I'll share this one with you:

Ingredients:

Water Ice Rhodiola Ginger Coconut oil Himilayan sea salt Tumeric Flax, chia, coconut blend Herbalife vanilla protein powder Herbalife banana caramel formula 1 Herbalife SKIN collagen Mixed berries

***NOTE: I prefer to use Herbalife Nutrition because it's something that I've been using a long time and it works really well for me. I love the taste, I love the variety, and I love how it makes me feel. You are more than welcomed to try Herbalife products if they seem like the right fit for you - if you have any questions/ interest please fill out the form below and I will get back to you. If you have zero interest or have a different brand that you love then that's fabulous! Whatever works for you is perfect - I just want to be a resource just in case someone has interest- NO PRESSURE!!!! I'm just sharing with you what I love and use. ***

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Snacks I like (Eaten on different days) 

White cheddar corn puffs (from Trader Joe's), Lara bars, Square bars, Power crunch bars, Herbalife bars, Hard boiled eggs, salami and cheese and crackers- These are things I've eaten for snack in the last month.

Lunch

I love the wraps and salads from Trader Joe's! I also will have leftovers from the night before on certain days. I also love the black bean and cheese taquitos, black bean and corn enchiladas, and chicken verde burritos all from Trader Joe's. I guess it's safe to say I love TJ's lol. I love sandwiches too!

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Dinner 

Pizza/ salad Chicken, brown rice, mixed veggies Enchiladas, beans, rice, chips Poke bowl Sushi Salmon, jasmine rice, brussels sprouts

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Dessert 

I always have some ice cream that we keep in the refrigerator at all times. If we are out for dessert it's most likely FROYO!!

Go to drinks 

I love micheladas, wine, beer, La Croix, and anything sparking water, and of course my morning coffee!

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As you can see I eat a variety of food and no day looks the same. I listen to when I get hungry and I also listen to what sounds satisfying in the moment. I eat when I'm hungry and stop when I am content.

Most importantly- your mentality.

When you eat with stress, guilt, are not present, and shame yourself, is much different than if you eat with love, peace, kindness, and presence. Change your thinking process around food and diet and watch your world change from meal plans/ calories/ and restriction to FREEDOM, INTUITION, and SELF-LOVE!

 

Learn more about the 14 Day Body Love Holiday Detox! CLICK HERE!

The ANTI-DIET Bride

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14333084_10155224847634460_935664208026763241_nI got engaged in September.

It was one of the happiest moments of my life. We were on the beach in Maui with my entire family watching while my boyfriend got down on one knee and proposed. I was shocked, excited, and most of all happy. In that moment, all was well.

The wedding in going to be in April 2017 ( 6 months away! ) We have the venue set, the guest list sorted, the bridal party chosen, the theme picked out, the cake organized, the photographer chosen; we have made some progress. It's been a fun journey so far... so the reason I'm writing about this on my Body Love blog? Well, I got the dress too.

As a bride-to-be I now notice more things that pertain to weddings. Of course right!? I was scrolling one day on Facebook and this popped up,

"I Spent 3 Months Getting Buff For My Wedding- Here's How It Went."

Although I don't want to judge anyone who has a specific "perfect body" plfullsizerenderan before their own wedding this title just kind of made me sad.

There already seems to be a lot pressure and stress when planning a wedding but to me

the most stress is put on the bride.

Not because all the planning is put on the bride, the finances, the details...but stress to look as thin, fit, and beautiful in the dress. All eyes are on the bride, which makes it that more intense to look a certain way. It's sad to me because this day, the wedding day, that you only get once is centered around getting fit and losing weight 3 months prior to the big day.

This is an interesting topic for me because now I am in the body positive world. BUT that doesn't mean I don't get triggered.

When I see articles like I mentioned above or girls that are getting married who promote their meal plan and workout plan on Facebook I judge myself. I think- do I need to change the way I eat and exercise before my wedding? Is is acceptable if I don't show up to my wedding looking as fit and thin as possible? Will I be judged if I don't have the perfect body on the big day?

The answer is: NO.

I do not have to change a single thing before my wedding day. My plan for the next 6 months is to enjoy my life as much as possible. Spend time with my soon to be hubby. To laugh and love. To drink coffee. Work on my passion. Journal. Meditate. Put fresh flowers in my home. Read books that inspire and move me. To wake up everyday with an internal peace of mind. To dream and manifest my future. To surround myself with body positive messages and stand strong in my truth that

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT MY BODY LOOKS LIKE ON THE DAY OF MY WEDDING AS LONG AS I HONOR MYSELF, LOVE MYSELF, AND RESPECT MYSELF.

To be honest, my mental health is most important to me.

I would rather have a healthy mind than a stick thin body. 

To all the ladies out there...

who are already married, are engaged, who plan on getting married remember that you are worthy no matter what your weight is on your wedding day. The amount of force that you apply to the earth is not how you measure your worth anyway.

It all comes down to the love that you feel within that allows you to spread it to the people around you. 

xoxo Lauren

PS. If you are interested in 1:1 support learn more about my SUPER SPECIAL OFFER on The Body Love Healing Course (more thank 50% discount!!!) Only 3 spots available - email me at bodylove@laurenmcaulay.com to save your spot!

 

 

Fear Leftovers NO MORE

I wanted to share this video with you for anyone that might relate  when it comes to having "FEAR FOODS."

One of my fears was eating leftovers. I know- it sounds so silly now but for real, I would never eat them because I felt like if I had it for dinner, then it would be way to heavy to eat for lunch.

So in this video I explain how I made pasta, chicken sausage, and salad for dinner and was sitting down to eat it for lunch.

I had to document this message because it shows some serious recovery in the diet and disordered eating world. For one, pasta was a BANNED FOOD. It was labeled as bad bad bad. Today, it's a food that I enjoy!

Here is the post from Instagram that I mentioned

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This is such a simple message but for anyone who can relate will know THAT THIS IS A HUGE WIN IN RECOVERY!!! 

and I want to encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and take on a fear food this week! Don't judge yourself, eat it slow, breathe, send it love, taste it, and let go of any guilt.

xoxo Lauren

PS. HERE IS A FREE BODY LOVE JOURNAL JUST FOR YOU AND YOUR THOUGHTS 

My FIRST Body Positive Spartan Race

This past weekend I did a Spartan BEAST (12.2 miles + 30 obstacles) with my fiance and one of my best friends.

It was interesting to me that I signed up to do such a grueling race because I literally do not workout like I use to. A typical "workout" for me would be to take my two little pups for a walk with an occasional run/ stair workout and possibly some squats/ body work. Maybe a little at home yoga here and there. MOST days it's just walking the dogs a couple times a day.

I definitely believe in exercising because it's good for your mental health and for your physical body.

It really just depends how healthy your relationship to working out is. In the past I made sure to suffer through my workouts everyday. If I wasn't drenched in sweat and all out exhausted I didn't count it. I would feel guilty if I skipped a day of working out; so let's just say I had a very unhealthy relationship with it.

SO. When my fiance was signing up to do the Spartan beast it surprised me that I actually wanted to do it with him. (a couple weeks later we got our friend on board.) So there we have it we were committed to doing the BEAST.img_8775-2

I did not train, I didn't workout extra, I didn't eat differently. I literally did what I normally do in my everyday life.

We even went on an 8 day trip to Hawaii the week before the race. So let's just say we were not concerned what type of shape we were in; AND THAT FELT FUCKING FANTASTIC. It was such a breathe of fresh air to literally decide to do the spartan race just because I wanted to, because it was going to be a bonding experience with people that I love. It was going to have NO attachment to how long we took to finish the race, how many times we stopped to rest, or what my body looked like at the race. Also, it had nothing to do with burning calories or just wanting to kick my ass to keep a fit/thin body. It was just a spontaneous decision and that was that.

The day of the Spartan race was filled with a little nervousness and excitement as we pulled into the parking lot in Temecula.

I actually couldn't believe I would be enduring 12.2 miles of craziness when I hadn't even walked over 3 miles with my dogs. But I was ready to see what I could do.

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I could write a novel on my emotions during this spartan race. But I wont ;) for your sake.

What I do want to touch on is a new perspective I got during the race pertaining to working out/ life. I wasn't doing the race to burn calories like I mentioned above, I wasn't doing the race because I like to torture my body everyday. During the race I had a different mindset, because I wasn’t worried about my body image, calories, or competing; the voices in my head were full of metaphors for my life.

There were times during the race that I was feeling good and energized, in the zone, times that were easy, rewarding, then there were times that felt like hell...

I wanted to quit, I thought I couldn't make it, it was just so hard, "how the hell am I going to get over this wall, "I'm scared", when is this over, omg how many more hills are there, ok I caught my second wind I can totally do this, 2 more miles, the finish line is right there, we made it! -

I'm telling you. There was a constant dialogue going between all these emotions in my head at all different times.

It was so interesting to me how the Spartan race literally was replicating my life. There are so many times during my daily life when I go through all these emotions- I feel good, I'm optimistic, life is flowing, my energy is vibrating, I see good things for my future, everything is positive. Then I can go into- I'm never going to make it, nothing ever works out, why is all my hard work not paying off, how am I going to pay my bills this month, I'm anxious and scared, my energy is shit, I'm in a slump, - okay and back to journaling and manifesting - "all is well in my world." "I can do this." "The universe has my back."

During the Spartan I was almost laughing about the similarities been the race and life.

This totally taught me a lesson. Life will have the ups and downs but there is always the rewarding, feel good times, AND the finish line- which is your goals, dreams, and desires. We will all get there- you just get to keep pushing through the "hills," the "carrying a bucket of rocks"," the distance-

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I also encourage you to see working out as a life lesson instead of a forced calorie burn or perfect body desire;

if you take each walk, exercise class, yoga class, gym session, pilates class, hike, spartan race, etc as a life lesson I feel that can strengthen your relationship with yourself, with your life, and encourage body love.

***side note: I encourage training for such a big race like this- of course training with love and a healthy relationship to working out- Pretty sure I won't be walking correctly for the next week or 2. I'm SORE!***

SHOUT OUT TO MY WONDERFUL FIANCE WHO NEVER LEFT MY SIDE THE ENTIRE RACE. MY NUMBER 1 SUPPORTER <3 

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xoxo Lauren

PS. A FREEBIE just for you :) Body Love Daily Journal 

PSS. If you are looking for extra support check out my Body Love Healing Course - 5 spots left xoxo 

8 reasons life is much more enjoyable when you LOVE YOURSELF

I've been in Hawaii this past week- amazing, loving, fun, peaceful, romantic, and HEALING. I love Maui. It just makes me feel OH SO GOOD.

I want to share with you 8 reasons why life is much more enjoyable when you LOVE YOURSELF.

  1. Food is FUN

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    To most, going on vacation is AMAZING but many women worry about weight gain. We know we will be eating and drinking more than we normally do. We don't want to restrict but we also don't want to gain weight. When you love yourself and love your body you see food in a completely different light. Food is actually FUN. Every meal and every drink I had in Hawaii gave me excitement instead of anguish. It seriously makes life so much more enjoyable when food is fun.

  2. Bathing Suits are meaningless

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    Going on vacation, especially to Hawaii, meant being in a bathing suit everyday. In the past I would worry about how I would look and most likely go on a strict diet/ workout regiment so I could look thin/ fit in a bikini. This trip, because I have so much body love and self love I didn't change anything in my routine before my vacation. I went how my body wanted to go. So as I wore my bathing suits everyday they were meaningless because it didn't matter if I had extra weight or not I was loving the Hawaiian life rather than worrying about my look in a bathing suit. I own my bathing suit rather than my bathing suit owning me.

  3. Family time is special

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    When you are in a state of LOVE everything is more special. I was more focused on time spent with family then having obsessive thoughts about my body or the food I was eating. Loving yourself allows you to love everyone else around you.

  4. Peaceful PRESENT mindset

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    A peaceful mind allows you to be present. To live in the moment. Being present on vacation is so important because that is when you really live. You are able to love every moment, cherish the memories being created, to feel joy. You actually are being aware of all the wonderful feelings you have in your body. When your head is not filled with calories, body image, food, anxiety.. life is bliss.

  5. Happy hour is a NO BRAINER 

     

    One of my favorite things we did in Hawaii was walk down the beach to a perfect restaurant bar that had a happy hour. The view was spectacular, the company was perfect, the food was amazing, and the drinks were top notch. At least in my family, we love to have a good time and socialize over drinks. In the past, I would have been worried about the calories in the food and the drinks. I would get the healthiest item on the menu and stick to a drink that tastes like crap but was low calorie. There is something amazing about having a stress free experience at a happy hour. We shared a bunch of little dishes and I had two drink that tasted like Hawaii. I was loving every second. Not one thought of how "I'm going to burn these calories off." Just in a state of love and maybe a bit buzzed. ;)

  6. Beach walks are considered exercise 

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    I didn't have a workout regiment while I was away. I was not attached to getting a dedicated workout in. But what I did do was take walks everyday. Most of the time we walked to the beach instead of drove which was about a mile away. I would always walk along the beaches too just to keep myself moving. One of the days we got paddle boards. The point is, obsessing over exercise was not part of my to do's. When exercise is not a obligation but something I incorporate into my life it just makes life that much more enjoyable.

  7. Radiate beauty and joy

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    Point blank. When you love yourself you radiate beauty and joy from the inside out. There is a certain glow that you get when you soul is warm and full of love. Radiating positive vibes helps you only see the beauty in life. (ps. This was a few minutes after I got engaged- I think I was happy. hehe)

  8. Living in a YES LIFE energy 

     

    When you feel good and you feel love, you are a YES to life. You are more open to opportunities. You are excited to take on new adventures, try something new... You are open and ready to manifest all that you desire... you attract what you radiate. The universe "hears" you loud and clear when you have YES LIFE energy. Life is sooo much more enjoyable when you are YES!

 

It's crazy to think that all of this comes from loving yourself. You might be thinking- there is no way life can get so much better when you just practice a little more self love. I telling you that YES! It's 100% true. At one point in my life I was in the depths of hell. I only saw darkness. I was scared of life and thought it only brought me pain and heartbreak. I didn't want to be on the planet if I would have to feel like I did for the next 70-80 years.

SO. I decided to make a change. I decided to get support and dive into the world of SELF-LOVE that was foreign to me. Life did a 180 for me when I kept on my journey to loving myself. It was the hardest thing I ever did but the outcome is priceless. I actually enjoy life. I smile everyday and see the beauty and sunshine that surrounds me. There is a WAY OUT of your pain and INTO love. You may think- that's impossible, but I'm telling you that ANYTHING is possible if you do the work on yourself. Never give up.

Learn more about my BODY LOVE HEALING COURSE HERE. 

xoxo Lauren

Ps. Get the Body Love Daily Journal HERE if you haven't yet!